Kenny Kick it?

Is there a more ineffectual politician in Ireland than Enda Kenny? Bet you a 99 with strawberry sauce that you can’t point one out by the time this sentence is finished.

As Fianna Fáil’s approval figures show a lemming-like trajectory, Kenny once again seems intent on taking a now-banned political handgun and pointing it at his toes.

If an election was called in the morning, it seems almost certain that Fine Gael would be the new puppetmasters, riding high on a wave of newfound bonhomie. And thank God, thank the Lord, says everyone, that Enda Kenny has Richard Bruton riding shotgun.

In today’s Irish Times, Enda Kenny effectively wrote a 1,000-word treatise on why he shouldn’t retain the leadership. In it, he says absolutely nothing, with his trademark flourish, about his chosen topic – how to survive the financial crisis. He bandies about a few clichés and platitudes, states the obvious a few times, but makes no effort to put forward any structured policy. (Does he realise how much this space would cost to buy at commercial rates? If so, why does he squander it?)

“The differences between Fine Gael’s putative approach and Fianna Fáil’s current approach could not be more stark. Fine Gael has a plan, a different one to Fianna Fáil, and we set that out in July, and again before the Budget,” says Kenny.

Yes, a different plan. Does Enda elaborate on said plan? Does he f*ck. He continues, in flowery language, to complain about Fianna Fáil without saying a substantive word about what his party plans to do, apart from a cursory mention of a pay freeze in the HSE (pictured).

Kenny is about to be found out. Richard Bruton appeared on Primetime this evening, giving a calm and spin-free analysis of the new Finance Bill, appearing every bit like a man with his hand on the steering wheel. Enda, meanwhile, is barking directions from the passenger seat, where he has the wrong map out. Upside down.

The article ends on an explanatory note.

“Enda Kenny is the leader of Fine Gael”.

They left out two words. “For now”.

(Pic courtesy of Murphy’s)