Coming to Australia? Planning on driving anywhere? Here’s my advice to you: Learn the rules about parking, because if you don’t it will cost you a fortune.
I returned to my car last night to find it slapped with a $137 fine for parking with the bonnet pointing the wrong way. On the quiet, residential street behind my house, I tucked the car into an enormous spot and backed it up close to a tree, about four inches from the kerb.

This was not acceptable. My car was pointing north. It should have pointed south. Is this a south-centric policy? A slur on people from the northern hemisphere? Sure, we robbed Australia of ozone, but we also populated the country to start with.

Don’t get caught out. The RTA’s  parking booklet stretches to 15 pages – read every one. The bit about which way to point your car is hidden on page 14. Cunts. I’m holding one finger up – is that pointing the right way, you bastards?