New Year’s Resolutions, along with cheap board games, roller blades and fitness equipment, have a tendency to end up in the cupboard under the stairs by mid-January.  A musty head of red wine on New Year’s Day and pressure from a partner of the opposite sex can lead to drawing up lists of completely unreasonable goals. Triple my productivity. Volunteer once a week at a shelter/orphanage/sanctuary for dangerous and ungrateful animals. Learn Arabic. End world hunger.

So this year I’m keeping it simple. One public New Years Resolution that is a perfect catch-all:

BE LESS TOLERANT

The benefits are manifold. It promotes honesty, and thus people know where they stand. Ambiguity is rendered extinct. No more friendship-feigning or unnecessary faux politeness to people who are quite clearly unworthy of it. Unacceptable behaviour gets called out. Bills get paid. Things stay clean. Badly cooked steaks get sent back to the kitchen and tips are forgone if the service is poor. Queue-jumpers stay in line.  Redundant phrases are deleted from copy. Dead space is cropped from photos. Order is preserved. And if you demand that of others, you must demand it of yourself in equal measure, and expect others to demand it of you, too. Thus, everyone wins.

Except the bastards among us, who get checked in their malodorous steps. But eventually they win too, because they learn some life lessons along the way. Life is improved.

Be less tolerant in 2008, folks. If you’re a naturally nice person, do it with a smile on your face.

Happy New Year.